Dear Scabby: My boyfriend’s been coming home late all the time. I’m worried something’s up. What should I do? -SUSPICIOUS IN SEATTLE Dear Suspicious in…
HOUSTON — Tragedy nearly stuck at a nearby Long John Silver’s last Sunday when no concerned patrons or workers felt comfortable administering CPR on choking…
HAMBURG, N.Y. — Pop-punk powerhouse Iron Chic shouted their entire five-person fast food order in unison at a local Tim Hortons drive-thru Saturday morning, frustrated…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A study completed last week at the University of California-Davis found that the next song “…goes a little something like this,” researchers…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Senior VICE editor Archie Jenkins sprinted from his office in Williamsburg yesterday after remembering he coerced a freelance reporter into infiltrating a…
Hate comes from ignorance. It’s a manifestation of fear of the unknown. As an ivy league educated, well-traveled individual, I have experienced people of many…
LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Local band Leatherfist had to look up their own Wikipedia entry this week to confirm who was actually a current member…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local dad Carl Coleman threw caution to the wind last night and mimicked an electric guitar solo with his pool cue during…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Geoff Kaplan was overly critical and harsh this afternoon while discussing astrology stereotypes with friends, sources close to the obvious…
NEW ORLEANS — Local punk Sarah Moreno was seen scouring the crowd at a show last night for her blind date, a “white guy in…
Who the fuck does this band ‘Propagandhi’ think they are? I just listened to their latest piece of anti-American garbage, Today’s Empires, Tomorrow’s Ashes, and…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Members of the Spokane DIY punk scene are reluctantly preparing to help local women who will lose access to vital healthcare services,…
Dear Scabby: I currently have crushes on two coworkers. What should I do? -PROFESSIONALLY TORN IN PITTSBURGH Dear Professionally Torn in Pittsburgh: First off, I’d…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary horror rocker and Misfits frontman Glenn Danzig is already mentally spending the annual bump in royalties he expects to receive from…
Greeting new (I hope) friend! Might I trouble you for just a moment of your time? My office is just around the corner here, come…