SANTE FE SPRINGS, Calif. — Former Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle has found himself a new gig: headlining next year’s Warped Tour with his new pop-punk…
Los Angeles – Suffering from the debilitating effects of late-stage dementia, former Sex Pistols frontman and notoriously rowdy trouble maker, Johnny Rotten, has become an…
CHICAGO – Local man Skip Klinger, described by acquaintances as a undateable, pathetic loser, is reportedly in need of only one ticket to Riot…
GARY, Ind. — After spending years as the leader of the notorious Bloody Violence Boys skinhead crew in northern Indiana, “Big” John Simpson is excited…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – After spending countless hours trying to educate family members and coworkers over the past four years, local vegan Donald Besser finally…
Cleveland, Ohio – With less than a year left before the President of Punk election, a dozen candidates from all across the spectrum of punk…
C leveland, Ohio — As Republican presidential hopefuls prepare for what is sure to be an entertaining debate tonight, progressive senator Bernie Sanders sits comfortably…
SEATTLE – The all-white, all-male volunteer staff of a new DIY spot billed as a safe space for people of any gender expression, race, or…
PHILADELPHIA – Hulk Hogan and The Wrestling Boot Band have been dropped from the This Is Hardcore 2015 lineup after Hulk Hogan was recorded making…
COTUIT, Mass. – Local merchandise legend Marky Merch, well known for encouraging people to purchase larger-sized T-shirts because “they will shrink,” had a near-death experience…
VICTORIA, Texas — The parents of a man who has been missing for over a week is desperately hoping someone out there has a photo…
DENVER – Unemployed internet commenter, Shane Clifford, 33, feels that despite the fact he has no money, access to venues, or contacts in the music…
INTERNET, The — In a valiant display of his true progressiveness, local punk Chris Francis has officially freed himself of all his Facebook friends due…
LONDON – Crass frontman Steve Ignorant announced plans for a new Crass box set in an impromptu press conference to gathered members of the media…
HELL – Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness and Ruler of All Things Evil, is reportedly unimpressed with what he called, “the lackluster state of current…