DANVILLE, Calif. — A panicked Jason Andrews, 15, hurriedly created a Valentine’s day card for his girlfriend Elizabeth this morning, sources close to the sound…
PHILADELPHIA – Valentine’s Day is a time-honored American holiday, and as couples nationwide nervously search for the perfect gift for their significant other, vegan boyfriend…
PRAIRIE CHAPEL RANCH, TX – Sources confirmed this morning that after Jeb Bush’s embarrassing loss in New Hampshire’s 2016 primary, former President George W. Bush…
WASHINGTON – After Hillary Clinton’s narrow victory in the Iowa caucuses last night, Congress has announced they are prepared to reduce the salary of the nation’s…
ANN ARBOR, MI – Long-standing tenets of acceptance and open-mindedness were pushed to the breaking point this weekend when a college freshman attended an anarchist…
HOLLYWOOD – After Sieg Heiling and screaming “White power!” at the conclusion of this year’s Dimebash, Pantera frontman Phil Anselmo has issued an apology to his…
ATLANTA — Following a heated Twitter exchange between Georgia rapper B.o.B and celebrity astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, experts have finally pieced together what exactly happened…
DETROIT – Joining other high-profile donors like Jimmy Fallon, Pearl Jam, and Cher, Detroit-based hip-hop duo Insane Clown Posse announced today they will donate 10,000…
GENEVA – A team of scientists at CERN’s Large Hadron Collider are still cleaning up the mess today after experimenting with a massive circle pit…
CHIPPEWA FALLS, Wis. – A team of high-powered attorneys representing the interests of seminal metal act Metallica filed the necessary paperwork late last week to…
DENVER — The Hell Hole, a DIY venue founded on a gritty, bootstrapping, off-the-grid ethos, has recently fallen into disrepair, as the all-volunteer staff realized…
We’ve lost a lot of great people in 2015 — people who made us laugh, challenged the way we think, or, like Lemmy, influenced generations…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Local ukulele owner and polyamorous man Rick Walcott graciously explained the core concepts of feminism to a group of female undergraduate students Saturday night during…
AUSTIN, Texas – Addressing his fans with a new-found sense of purpose, Greg Ginn, the miserly guitar player and leader of Black Flag, announced his surprising…
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Local frontman Spencer Wilt made an impassioned declaration to ISIS “and other terrorist groups,” clarifying that religious extremists of any creed responsible for recent mass…