PHILADELPHIA – After a tough primary battle against Hillary Clinton, Senator Bernie Sanders has notified the DNC that he is running a little late to the…
VANCOUVER, B.C. – Nick “Tha Knife” Porter, the dedicated merch guy for Las Vegas-based band Lawbreaker, soldiered on alone late last week to run distro…
CLEVELAND — In an effort to drum up excitement at this year’s Republican National Convention, George W. Bush’s administration announced it will reunite and play…
PHILADELPHIA, PA – The Democratic National Convention has been headlined by greats like Al Gore, Michael Dukakis, and Jimmy Carter. This year Hillary Clinton has…
NEWINGTON, Conn. – A local city council meeting was ambushed during a public comment session last week, when a 13-year-old anarchist known only as “Timmy…
DULUTH, Minn. – A female musician will reportedly be performing next Tuesday at local house venue The Scum Funnel, according to a flyer attached to…
USA — A cold-blooded killer who threatens the safety of everyone around him due to his uncontrollable rage and easy access to firearms was put…
KALAMAZOO, MI – Local musician Danny Ramsey was visited by a futuristic, cyborg version of himself this week, who reportedly made a trip backwards through…
OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla. — Marcus Brooks is a well-groomed, successful software engineer in his mid-thirties. What separates Brooks from his peers is his “bitchin’ chain…
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – Stoner metal fan Paul Garry is finding that after years of listening to stoner metal almost every day, sometimes multiple times…
PHILADELPHIA — Fantasy metal band and LARPers, Cloak and Scabbard, are preparing for a week-long tour of the enchanted lands of the upper Midwest. The…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. – After purchasing Yngwie Malmsteen’s Trilogy, an album with a cover depicting the musician slaying a three-headed dragon with his six-string battle…
HOLYOKE, Mass. – A local metal show took a bizarre and deadly turn last Wednesday night when a mock-ritual performed on stage brought forth a…
WETUMPKA, Ala. — Artemis Nyxx (legal name Blake Lambert), a vegan activist and vocalist of local “blackened crust” band Infinite Dvsk, took responsibility for a recent…
THE INTERNET – The often misunderstood world of adult face-painting went on high alert this week when Youtube user GoatLord666Watain took to the figurative airwaves…