BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — As the U.S. comes to terms with a Trump presidency, local woman Valerie Stevens discovered a silver lining amongst the doom and…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Newlyweds Brian and Susan Moore returned from their honeymoon late last week to find their wedding mix CD skewered by Pitchfork, earning a…
WASHINGTON — Donald Trump’s 60 Minutes interview with Lesley Stahl was supposed to calm the nation. Instead, many staunch supporters of the President-elect feel he…
LOS ANGELES — Representatives of the greater music industry, which had been actively seeking potential employees since the 1890s, announced at a press conference this…
LANSING, Mich. – Following the surprise election of Donald Trump, local woman Roberta Edwards reports her emotions have vacillated between depression and fear for her…
FOLSOM, Calif. — Local girlfriend Jenna Hurewicz has severely over-inflated the confidence of her significant other Tommy Ganshirt with constant praise and encouragement, according to…
ST. LOUIS — Kansas City pop-punks Birdnoculars secured a paid opportunity earlier this week to help move a couch and other items amidst their two-state…
Right now I am disgusted, heartbroken, and terrified for my country. I never thought Donald Trump would ACTUALLY become president. I can’t believe this gigantic…
UPPER DARBY, Penn. — Brenden Lowry, frontman and lyricist of punk band Remorse Of The Flag, is struggling to fit all necessary truths, misconceptions, and blatant…
Okay look, it might seem a little irresponsible but we had a lot of stuff to do last night and we didn’t get around to…
It’s November 9th, and Donald Trump was just announced as the 45th President of The United States, but that doesn’t mean it’s over yet: Bernie Sanders…
NEW YORK – Citing her long-held belief that “there’s no way in hell anything like this could ever happen,” Lady Liberty herself packed up her bags and headed…
SAN FRANCISCO — A chilling case of voter suppression was reported today, as Jello Biafra ran out of room for the lengthy diatribe he was scribbling in…
NEW YORK – Pending the outcome of Tuesday’s election, Staten Island resident and local hothead Kevin Esposito vowed to move to another country if his…
INDIANAPOLIS — Vice Presidential candidate Mike Pence and his wife, Karen, have reportedly pushed their twin beds together for the first time ever, preemptively celebrating…