PHILADELPHIA — Dapper punk Theo Mahan’s preference for high-class mixed drinks has inspired a sophisticated smuggling operation for crafting in-show cocktails, according to sources inside…
ST. ALBANS, Vt. — Local folk revival band Big Bear and the Rambling Creek Ramblers added a pediatrician and veterinarian to their 78-person lineup last…
This is a photograph of my son. His name is Nathaniel. Look at it … study it. This is the real face of Libtardation. I…
MIAMI — After a successful cosmetic skin removal surgery, Iggy Pop, the hard-rocking godfather of punk music, announced he plans to auction off large swaths of excess…
The groundbreaking, and some might say life-changing, anime series Dragon Ball Z aired in Japan from 1989 to 1996 with a whopping 291 episodes. Hey,…
NEW YORK — A decades-long climate change study commissioned by the Environmental Protection Agency and released earlier today confirmed what many have long suspected: New…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Employees of the Sunny Side Inn discovered this morning that touring rock’n’roll band The Squashers viciously destroyed their room online, leaving a…
OK, so this is probably the saddest that a human being can feel. Just last night, Rubin, my dog of 14 years, passed away. Very…
MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — Milo Aukerman, licensed biochemist and lead singer of seminal punk band the Descendents, announced that he will return to college to…
FORT WORTH, Texas – A local anarchist stole and destroyed several pounds of gluten at an industrial bakery yesterday in a misguided, good-faith effort to…
BALTIMORE — Local crust punk and self-proclaimed gentleman Jason Kirkby laid his Capitalist Casualties butt flap over a puddle last night to protect his date,…
WASHINGTON — CNN anchor Don Lemon was spotted earlier today just outside the White House gates purchasing a pirated copy of White House Press Secretary…
CUPERTINO, Calif. – Apple, Inc. announced an update for the popular GarageBand music software that will automatically export finished tracks directly into the Trash folder…
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. — Up-and-coming hardcore band Fistface are unsure what to do with a guest vocalist who has grossly overstayed his invite to their studio,…
TORONTO – Long-time renter Alana Murphy downloaded and installed the classic PC game The Sims earlier this week to get a glimpse into the thrilling…