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Crust Punk Candidate Vows to Decrease Jobs

BUFFALO, N.Y. — Crust-punk presidential candidate Leo “Swamp” Marsh revealed plans today to slash employment opportunities during an impassioned campaign speech held in vacant hotel…

Covfefe Shirt Finally Arrives In Mail

HARTFORD, Conn. — Local comical shirt collector and self-described #Resistance member Jared Wayne was overjoyed this morning by the arrival of his months-old order for…