FAIRFAX, VA – The National Rifle Association responded to the acquittal of police officer Jeronimo Yanez in the shooting death of Philando Castile today by having all…
QUANTICO, Virginia — Chicago is officially the most dangerous band in America, due to numerous instances of “friendly fire” roadie deaths, drive-by tour bus shootings,…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — An unsolicited rubbing of the arm of local woman Sarah Collins early yesterday evening confirmed her three tattoos as “100 percent authentic,”…
CLEVELAND — Touring roadie Russ Little made $40 last night simply by standing near the entrance of a free show held at local venue The…
BROOKLYN — A neighborhood garden has been left to the elements a full 60 days ahead of projections in a “triumph of underachievement,” according to…
NORRISTOWN, PA — Lady Justice, a six foot high inanimate bronze statue, was found unconscious behind the Montgomery County Courthouse on Saturday after Bill Cosby’s sexual…
MONTREAL — Canadian indie-rock icons Arcade Fire are planning to layoff 400 nonessential members by 2018 due to budgetary cutbacks, according to leaked internal memos.…
POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — A group of vacationing Australian koalas visited a hardcore sanctuary last week to take photos of the local DIY wildlife, according to…
SEATTLE — A local couple expecting their first child began to baby-proof their lifestyle earlier this month, requiring major alterations to their array of facial…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local women found conclusive evidence that God doesn’t know what they want, sources confirm, based on the existence of Chad Tuckers, the…
SEATTLE — The stages at this summer’s Warped Tour will be placed 100 feet away from the all-ages audience in order to comply with national…
NAPERVILLE, Ill. — The classic rock song “Don’t Stop the Rock” by the School of Hard Rocks is “rockin’ about how great rock music is,”…
MAR-A-LAGO – In direct response to fired FBI Director James B. Comey addressing the Senate Intelligence Committee, President Trump said Tuesday that he would be…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Members of the all-male threepiece Wrecker Ocean are waiting for a female bass guitarist to make their lineup, and “souls,” complete, confirmed…
SAN DIEGO — A fist fight livened up an otherwise forgettable show over the weekend at the Steak House nightclub, according to attendees who, up to…














