LOS ANGELES — The estate of Cramps frontman Lux Interior announced the release of a posthumous cookbook “Goo Goo Mic: Recipes That Won’t Make You…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Two of nu metal’s most respected acts, System of a Down and Deftones, announced a co-headlining tour under the moniker “Nu Metal…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local guitarist Dylan Scharm recoiled in pain earlier today after spotting a set mousetrap on his father’s garage floor and instinctively stepping…
Wow. Where does the time go? One minute you’re thirteen years old jamming out to your new favorite album, Green Day’s “American Idiot” of course,…
LA MESA, Calif. – A group of 38-year-olds attending last night’s Social Narcolepsy gig reportedly spent the entire show discussing the best route home, confirmed…
SWEET HOME, Ore. — Local merch guy Adam Planville reluctantly went into work at 4 a.m. to prepare for the punk band Vegan Werewolf’s Black…
Noise Musician Preparing to Spend Seventh Consecutive Thanksgiving Lying About Being a Jazz Musician
Noise Musician Preparing to Spend Seventh Consecutive Thanksgiving Lying About Being a Jazz Musician
TOLEDO, Ohio. – Local noise musician Gary Wilkerson spent the past week researching music history and terminology in order to convince his immediate family that…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Guitar manufacturer B.C. Rich was forced to issue an apology after debuting a totally normal-looking guitar that outraged their dedicated customers, confirmed…
BRISTOL, Conn. — Embarrassed members of sludge-punk band Grinch Meat are allegedly kicking themselves after forgetting an apostrophe and ordering hundreds of gigantic seven-foot singles,…
LOS ANGELES — Leaked emails from high-ranking members of the Recording Academy of America suggest that the three Turnstile Grammy nominations were a subversive attempt…
LOS ANGELES — Indie rock legends Theory of Judah released a new deluxe box set that features terribly recorded and half-baked versions of all of…
NEW YORK — Local indie fan Ian Hudson was completely unimpressed with the Bronx Zoo’s new “underwhelming and derivative” arctic monkey exhibit that opened last…
Upon arriving in Tennesee for my friend’s wedding, I found myself cruising down the road in a rental car, blasting local radio, when something terrible…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local motherfuckers expressed their displeasure with the lead singer of hardcore band Big Butter for repeatedly and maliciously singling them out…
WEST ORANGE, N.J. — Local mother Helen McGuire allowed her sons to borrow her van so their band Uncle Punch could take it out on…