SEATTLE — Local man Stephen Baske is receiving unwanted praise after passersby mistook him yelling over his car alarm as a spontaneous Death Grips show,…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local interior designer Sara “Slime” Gonzales gave Maggot House a much-needed makeover after convincing its residents to expand their floor plan by…
IRVINE, Calif. — Local woman Jasmine Dreskel put a stop to her boyfriend’s sexual advances after noticing his custom lovemaking playlist curiously contained several Weird…
BEND, Ore. — Touring thrash metal band Vertical Gnome made the decision to toss their bass player into the mouth of an active stratovolcano as…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich — Local meadery Springs of Fangorn closed early today when owner Mark Gray realized all of his staff had tickets to see…
Astrology is bullshit. Anyone with a drop of common sense can see that. College stoner bros like me are into way deeper, more science-y spiritual…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. – A new album by melodic metal band Die Versity was described as “intriguing but unfocused,” by Rachel Pompey, a music fan with…
MILWAUKEE – Local trivia team “Ethereal Pursuit” developed a reputation as an easy crew to beat within the local bar trivia scene due to the…
INDIANAPOLIS — Local amateur guitarist Bryant Stafford reportedly slammed his laptop shut after merely glancing at the non-standard tuning of American Football’s “Never Meant” tablature,…
WHEELING, W. Va. — Unemployed hardcore punk singer Lyle “Coccyx” Plant is seeking employment with a resume consisting solely of fistfights and crew battles in…
CORSICANA, Texas — The recently hired roadie of touring a capella collective Vox On The Run is flabbergasted that he’s getting away with a job…
NEW YORK — Local barista and music know-it-all Nathaniel Pellson claimed he knew Canadian band Nickelback long before they weren’t cool, sources who didn’t quite…
NEW YORK — Republican Representative-elect George Santos is facing more scrutiny about his personal life after overwhelming evidence began to pile up refuting his claims…
ORLANDO, Fla. — A new long sleeve shirt design for death metal band Gorebomb is confusing fans with its overwhelming amount of designs plastered all…
SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Local maniac Cole Kristoff openly admits he prefers the most recent releases from his favorite metal band Iron Weaver, outraged sources confirmed.…