NEW YORK — Serial party animal Andrew W.K. shocked fans with his new acoustic album “Let’s Get This Get Together Over by Nine” which showed…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — Former chimpanzee handler Scott Guiles is reportedly thriving following his recent career transition to manager for the self-proclaimed “apecore” band The Gorillalalalas,…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Self-described “punk” Anthony Atomma was reportedly left feeling embarrassed and exposed yesterday when his Spotify Wrapped revealed that in the past…
NEW YORK — Ticketing sales and distributor giant Ticketmaster reminded the general public that there are still plenty of tickets available to the annual Brian…
KING OF PRUSSIA, Pa. — A devoted fan of 2000s indie rock titans Yeah Yeah Yeahs is disrupting her sex life by insisting on reciting…
BALTIMORE — Local metalhead Matt Franklin attempted to convince a police officer that the blood and bodily fluids covering his body were due to the…
LOS ANGELES — The estate of Cramps frontman Lux Interior announced the release of a posthumous cookbook “Goo Goo Mic: Recipes That Won’t Make You…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Two of nu metal’s most respected acts, System of a Down and Deftones, announced a co-headlining tour under the moniker “Nu Metal…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local guitarist Dylan Scharm recoiled in pain earlier today after spotting a set mousetrap on his father’s garage floor and instinctively stepping…
Wow. Where does the time go? One minute you’re thirteen years old jamming out to your new favorite album, Green Day’s “American Idiot” of course,…
LA MESA, Calif. – A group of 38-year-olds attending last night’s Social Narcolepsy gig reportedly spent the entire show discussing the best route home, confirmed…
SWEET HOME, Ore. — Local merch guy Adam Planville reluctantly went into work at 4 a.m. to prepare for the punk band Vegan Werewolf’s Black…
Noise Musician Preparing to Spend Seventh Consecutive Thanksgiving Lying About Being a Jazz Musician
Noise Musician Preparing to Spend Seventh Consecutive Thanksgiving Lying About Being a Jazz Musician
TOLEDO, Ohio. – Local noise musician Gary Wilkerson spent the past week researching music history and terminology in order to convince his immediate family that…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Guitar manufacturer B.C. Rich was forced to issue an apology after debuting a totally normal-looking guitar that outraged their dedicated customers, confirmed…
BRISTOL, Conn. — Embarrassed members of sludge-punk band Grinch Meat are allegedly kicking themselves after forgetting an apostrophe and ordering hundreds of gigantic seven-foot singles,…