NEW YORK — Perennially vogue indie group Interpol announced plans to finally remove their sunglasses after 28 years, confirmed sources who finally just got used…
SAN FRANCISCO — Super7, the popular toy company known for its niche collectables, released a new talking Lars Ulrich doll that comes equipped with a…
LOS ANGELES — Popstar Chappell Roan woke up to discover the severed and pink-painted head of a pony in her bed yesterday, seemingly a threatening…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local retail employee Brenda Lawson found herself nostalgic for the Christmas music playlist at her workplace after hearing “Hanging By a Moment”…
STOCKTON, Calif. — Local California woman and artistic muse Vanessa Murder, better known as “Miss Murder” from the AFI song of the same name, had…
NEW ORLEANS — Rapper Kendrick Lamar thrilled the nation during his Super Bowl halftime appearance after revealing his special guest performer was none other than…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local Hüsker Dü fan Paul Mallard quietly celebrated the 10-year anniversary of never saying their band name aloud to avoid potential ridicule, confirmed…
LOS ANGELES — Kanye West followed up a Nazi-glorifying rant on ‘X’ today by announcing the surprise release of his newest studio album “Austrian Art…
GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — Child protective services finally paid a visit to 89-year-old Bertha Gwynne after she had been clipping newborn babies upside-down to a…
LOS ANGELES — U2 frontman Bono announced that the wildfires in California have devastated enough property and ruined a sufficient amount of lives for him…
SAN FRANCISCO — Semi-titans of American thrash metal Testament, Exodus, Overkill, and Dark Angel announced their plans to play a concert in the same vein…
SAN DIEGO — Local show attendee Sean Jessey had no choice but to purchase unwanted concert merch to avoid admitting publicly that he’d spent 30…
LAS VEGAS — Notable classic rock band and purveyor of merchandise KISS released a signature brand of coffee whose taste is closely aligned with their…
BALTIMORE — Local vinyl collector and self-proclaimed financial wizard Eric Drysden recently calculated his net worth using vinyl website Discogs.com, claimed friends who were definitely…
UTICA, N.Y. — VFW Post 226 held an emergency fish fry in an attempt to relieve it from the stench that lingered from the punk…