MARSHFIELD, Mass. — The mic stand used by rock legends Aerosmith is reportedly fed up with perpetually having to wear a tie and cannot wait…
HONESDALE, Pa. — The drummer of melodic hardcore band Goofus Eats Gallant was reportedly chafed when his philistine bandmates barbarically chatted as he diligently practiced…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — An out of control bachelor party based on the theme of shock-punk legend and provocateur GG Allin resulted in the lifetime ban…
WACO, Texas — Local punk Brianna “Gutpack” Mullhall was visibly upset upon learning Chip and Joanna Gaines will soon renovate beloved DIY venue Sugar House,…
BROCKPORT, N.Y. — Local goth Adriana Ross was let down by her assumption that the music of longtime rocker Alice Cooper would sound, you know,…
BEACON, N.Y. — Local guitarist Heff Kelsey was baffled after discovering the piece of music he was playing reportedly required a chord so difficult that…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — An outdoor metal show unexpectedly came to a complete stop after the band’s bass player Todd Michaels became distracted by a…
HOUSTON — AI-generated punk band Fresh Scabies expressed their desire to crash on any available servers “just for a little while” over the course of…
Listen up nerds, The Bollweevils took a brief two-decade-long break from writing music because their singer Daryl Wilson decided to go become a doctor and…
NEEDLES, Calif. — Frequent patrons of local watering hole The Running Refrigerator are reportedly befuddled over realizing the bar’s ever-playing jukebox solely contains tracks of…
AJAX, Ontario — Retired obstetrician Dr. Malcolm Rugmand denied ever suggesting former Sum 41 drummer Steve Jocz’s mother terminate their pregnancy, despite explicitly saying so…
CONCORD, N.H. — Local grunge revival band Lost Junk announced that they inked an unofficial deal to give a nearby Goodwill distribution rights to all…
PUEBLO, Colo. — Local man Trigg Barrett hoped that the Diarrhea Planet t-shirt he put on would distract his girlfriend’s parents from his more offensive…
Despite 9/11, Bush Administration, and the popped collars on polos trend, there was a lot of hope in the 2000s. But now that this decade…
PHILADELPHIA — Local musician Tommy Petro, drummer and backup vocalist for metalcore band The Song of Sisyphus, admitted he feels the same sense of awkwardness…