BOISE, Idaho — Up-and-coming band Settler’s Pit are desperately trying to sell their kidneys to pay for gas just one week into their first full…
I’m in a bit of a pickle here. Ever since I picked up guitar at 13 and subscribed to Guitar World magazine, I’ve obsessed over…
Nickelback Firmly Insists No AI Helped Write New Concept Album About Quantum Physics and Geopolitics
Nickelback Firmly Insists No AI Helped Write New Concept Album About Quantum Physics and Geopolitics
HANNA, Alberta — Rock band Nickelback reportedly dismissed swirling rumors that their new album “Geopolitical Quantum: An Analysis of Cosmic Diplomacy” was generated by AI…
LODI, N.J. — A worrisome lump found on legendary Misfits guitarist Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein’s neck ended up being an extra abdominal muscle, relieved sources…
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. — Local doom metal legend Ted Halverson, the skinsman for classic doom outfits such as Snore and Prophet Of Emptiness, recently admitted that…
LOS ANGELES — Dead Kennedy’s superfan Mike Luger was in for a surprise today after he discovered that his new Jello Biafra GPS voice was…
NASHVILLE — Controversial country singer Jason Aldean recently penned a solemn ode to the Boston police officer who rapidly tumbled down a children’s slide, sources…
AUSTIN, Texas — Lady Nocturne, the founder and sole member of anonymous black metal project Broken Widow, admitted her secret identity only exists to spare…
SHEFFIELD, England – Local music fan Dale Morton was physically removed by venue staff from last night’s show after repeatedly screaming requests at ambient musician…
Oh shit, Mom just said she and Steve ordered pizza and they got us mozzarella sticks! It’s time to wave the checkered flag and throw…
PORTLAND, Maine — Police were forced to drop all charges against local metalhead Bryant Newman after Newman was able to use the shirt he purchased…
It’s summer, which means two things: I want to go to a barbecue and I want to do so in a famous guitarist’s backyard. That’s…
TOPEKA, Kan. — Local man Caleb Levine raked in thousands of dollars after setting up a table selling Ween merchandise outside the Shawnee County Courthouse,…
CENTRALIA, Wash. — Avid metal fan Andrew Rostburgh is plagued by recurring horrifying dreams in which he’s accidentally naked and, worse, must endure three opening…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local doom metal aficionado Matt Galloway admitted he prefers to listen to podcasts at a mind-numbing .05x speed setting, confirmed bewildered and…