ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — Local die-hard Casualties fan Jeremy Stillman was struck with what was described as “blood curdling terror” after waking up from a…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local nu metal guitarist and longtime imbecile Mike “Grundbutter” Hobbes of Synapse Flux somehow managed to lose his pick inside his electric…
EDISON, N.J. — Local high school band and orchestra teacher Christa Dimarco mastered the vocal art of screaming at a higher level than most professional…
RENO, Nev. – Fans of Santana feat. Rob Thomas were overjoyed to learn the duo is reuniting for a one-song, 50-state tour, playing their lone…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — Members of local indie band Seashore inexplicably carried their respective instruments nearly two miles into a scenic field for a promo photoshoot,…
Before you scabs post something derivative on your social media pages with a four person outreach, just know this: Hawthorne Heights are bigger than all…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Cecil Clarke admitted that the only contribution he made to his upcoming wedding is researching potential honeymoon locations by listening to…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Members of rockabilly octet Eddie Mercury and the Cougars recently took a paternity test to determine who’s the real daddy-o of scene…
WASHINGTON — Legendary hardcore vocalist and sunburn victim Ian MacKaye reportedly became irritated with his friends and family for failing to alert him to more…
DULUTH, Minn. — Local prog metal shredders Bride Of Pythagoras made an announcement this week that every member of the band would be taking a…
Cap’n Jazz is the most important emo band of the 90s Midwest scene. They are also the most confounding. When I discovered them on a…
Glenn Danzig is known for a lot of things. He’s the legendary singer of the Misfits and other bands, he loves old horror movies, and…
WASHINGTON — United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy confirmed that the deadly epidemic of male loneliness in America finally ended after an unknown person…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — So-called At the Gates superfan Derek Chaulk was rattled after he discovered the Swedish metal band’s discography includes six other albums outside…
WALLINGFORD, Conn. — A blossoming romance wilted last night after Ty Baldwin, lead singer of local punk outfit Gashmaggot, called his new girlfriend by his…