Oh shit, Mom just said she and Steve ordered pizza and they got us mozzarella sticks! It’s time to wave the checkered flag and throw…
PORTLAND, Maine — Police were forced to drop all charges against local metalhead Bryant Newman after Newman was able to use the shirt he purchased…
It’s summer, which means two things: I want to go to a barbecue and I want to do so in a famous guitarist’s backyard. That’s…
TOPEKA, Kan. — Local man Caleb Levine raked in thousands of dollars after setting up a table selling Ween merchandise outside the Shawnee County Courthouse,…
CENTRALIA, Wash. — Avid metal fan Andrew Rostburgh is plagued by recurring horrifying dreams in which he’s accidentally naked and, worse, must endure three opening…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local doom metal aficionado Matt Galloway admitted he prefers to listen to podcasts at a mind-numbing .05x speed setting, confirmed bewildered and…
WAUKEGAN, Mich. — Local shock-rock fixture Andy “Randy Andy” Phantym is reportedly unsure why the many pairs of underwear thrown during his shows are never…
The year was 1985. Testicular torsion continued to affect men everywhere without many people understanding what was wrong. Suddenly, one day while recording in the…
POMONA, Calif. — Legendary vegan metal band Feral Autopsy absolutely drenched their adoring fans with what was later revealed to be a fully plant-based imitation…
CLACKAMAS, Ore. — Local Guitar Center employee Teddy Burns was informed he would be relegated to the store’s desolate lighting department due to the fact…
LOS ANGELES — Phoebe Bridgers’ fans were overjoyed recently after it was announced the indie artist will spend her upcoming international tour dressed as “a…
PETALUMA, Calif. — Show photographer Zach Pleshette experienced a massive stroke of hard luck when he chose to take a smoke break during the set…
LOS ANGELES — Members of Blink-182 were hurriedly escorted off stage just as they played the final notes of their set in order to make…
AMARILLO, Texas — Local bassist Garson Plumporthos of touring drum and bass duo Chappie’s Return is reportedly seething with envy over the fact that his…
PITTSBURGH – Taylor Swift’s recent whirlwind trip to the Steel City caused real estate prices to skyrocket by a shocking margin, locals currently dealing with…