LOS ANGELES – Blink 182’s highly anticipated new album “One More Time” will not feature songs about how Tom Delonge was right about aliens thanks…
NEW YORK — Local weakling and black metal singer Percy “Blall” Miller of the group Assküm spent the entirety of his band’s 30-minute set attempting…
TROLLSTIGEN, Norway — Teenage punks Xavier Martinez and Sydney Black were shocked to discover that the address of a house show would only be revealed…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Gibson Brands Inc. announced plans to debut their new signature line of Flying V Jet Skis at the 2024 National Association of…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Alleged Phish “mega fan” Walter Pratt admitted he has only seen the popular jam band perform live 72 times this year, sources…
PHILADELPHIA — Jealous husband and punker Shaun Grables is starting to suspect that his wife is secretly having sex with The Dead Milkmen while he’s…
LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Organizers of a spelling bee primarily focused on metal band names were disappointed to see every participant eliminated in the first…
SAN JOSE — Local man Chris Bendar, 32, very carefully found a verbal path around mentioning TikTok when recommending Petey’s new album “USA” to a…
SALEM, Ore. — Local father of four and avid collector of vinyl records Douglas Buckner is unsure whether his children would be best organized alphabetically…
Petey USA was born a 14-year-old boy in the crowd at a Chicago Blackhawks game at the United Center. Now a world-renowned singer, songwriter, actor,…
SAN BRUNO, Calif. — A sick-to-his-stomach backstage passholder at a recent Buckethead concert spent the whole night making sure to stay right nearby the conveniently…
ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — Local die-hard Casualties fan Jeremy Stillman was struck with what was described as “blood curdling terror” after waking up from a…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local nu metal guitarist and longtime imbecile Mike “Grundbutter” Hobbes of Synapse Flux somehow managed to lose his pick inside his electric…
EDISON, N.J. — Local high school band and orchestra teacher Christa Dimarco mastered the vocal art of screaming at a higher level than most professional…
RENO, Nev. – Fans of Santana feat. Rob Thomas were overjoyed to learn the duo is reuniting for a one-song, 50-state tour, playing their lone…