AUSTIN, Texas — Hardcore band Mindforce appeared on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast after they were mistaken for a brain-boosting supplement, according to confused, kettlebell-curling…
NEW YORK — Pitchfork surprised readers when it awarded a rare perfect 10 score to “Humpback!,” a $28 ambient whale noise CD produced by Hallmark,…
“King of the Hill” is the greatest animated sitcom not invented by Matt Groening, and even when we take that little show into consideration, it’s…
SAG HARBOR, NY — Justin Timberlake announced his next album will be about how the popular alcoholic beverage Long Island Iced Tea is a lying…
SWEETHAVEN VILLAGE — Mosh pitters of a recent Harbored Frustrations show were apprehensive when they noticed Popeye in the pit within grabbing distance of a…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Local punk outfit Scrotal Revolt recently began opening shows with a formal acknowledgment of guitar parts they’ve stolen and appropriated for their…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at Harvard University’s Department of Psychology made a breakthrough discovery confirming that 97% of Millennials are programmed to stop right where…
LOS ANGELES — Citing the ever-increasing reality of their impending mortality, members of the iconic punk band Broken Tongue announced the original line-up was getting…
Everyone knows “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.” Literally everyone. It’s universally regarded as one of, if not, the best video game of all…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Longtime Taylor Swift condemner Harris Simmons finally got around to hearing one of the famous pop singer’s songs, despite years of calling…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Harvard University linguistics professor Anne Pierogi believes she is able to decipher the venerable folk singer’s garbled utterances, report sources who like…
LOS ANGELES. — Local man Derek Mitchum regretted attending a show at The Smell music venue on a work night until a local food truck…
SEATTLE — A recent punk show at High Dive was canceled last-minute after door guy Morgan Dieter lost his one and only marker, sources confirmed.…
MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — Unbearable conservative Doug Tannenburg told Descendents logo Milo that he should have chosen trade school instead of going to college in…
SEATTLE — Local parents Chris and Maggie Nelson forced their teenage son to listen to the entire Red Hot Chili Peppers discography as punishment for…