MINNEAPOLIS — Touring sludge metal band Butt Abduction recently realized they can’t fire their deadbeat merch guy until they’re able to regain access to the…
PARIS, France — Daft Punk reportedly re-joined forces after officially disbanding in 2021 in order to collaborate with manufacturing giants 3M on a new collection…
Operation Ivy broke up nearly 35 years ago, but ever since, their fanbase has been going through a “will they or won’t they” moment with…
CHAGRIN FALLS, Ohio — Leftist senior citizen Cyrus Novak is reportedly under round-the-clock duress from continuously having to make sure John Fogerty is not somehow…
UNINCORPORATED TERRITORY SOMEWHERE IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN — Plane crash survivor and avid music fan Chris Ackerman was pleasantly surprised to see his top five…
HAMEL, Ill. — Indie supergroup boygenius announced their North American tour is on hold after Julien Baker found herself in an unstoppable arm wrestling streak…
CLEVELAND — Bastion of musical irrelevance the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame (HoF) recently shut down its immersive exhibit on the 27 Club, after…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local eye doctor and punk fan Scotty “Scraps” McDonough ventured to make routine eye exams more interesting by using the typographically dense…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — The entire state of California experienced a sudden and significant shortage of printer paper after Josh Freese attempted to print an…
GREELEY, Colo. — Local Ween fan Todd Congdon insists he is adequately prepared for the band’s three-day run at Red Rocks despite his suitcase containing…
MUNCIE, Ind. — A group of Dickensian-garbed Father’s Day carolers were reportedly seen going door-to-door singing particularly beautiful covers of Thin Lizzy songs in honor…
BALA CYNWYD, Pa. — Local ska fan and dad of two Curt Kopicki was overjoyed after receiving a tie as a Father’s Day gift from…
LAKE WORTH, Fla. — MAGA rapper Sean “Yung BilDaWall” Russell paid tribute to police officers the world over with his unique rendition of the NWA…
LONDON — Sir Paul McCartney announced plans to continue exploring artificial intelligence technology, collaborating with a George Harrison AI so advanced that it spent their…
MILWAUKEE — The ashamed parents and siblings of recent high school graduate Chase Benson booed, hissed, and jeered as he broke with familial punk tradition…