Woah there, chief. Where you going so fast wearing that Misfits shirt like you ain’t got a care in the world? Bet you fancy yourself…
SPOKANE, Wash. — The Spokane Police investigation team asserted today that a fiber linked to the disappearance of an irreplaceable guitar stolen from a local…
NEW YORK — Vagabond crust punk Sheri “Tick Bite” Rowland was spotted outside of the Bowery Whole Foods store begging shoppers for “just $15 to…
MINNEAPOLIS — Super Bowl LII halftime show headliner Justin Timberlake asked league officials today if his friend’s band can “jump on the bill” on Sunday,…
MENLO PARK — Facebook has slowly unveiled a powerful update to their newsfeed algorithm which exclusively surfaces the most important posts a band makes: official…
CITY OF DIS, Hell — 78 percent of demons across the Netherworld experienced feelings of low self-esteem and body issues when subjected to the unrealistic…
LOS ANGELES — Metallica’s live concert and online merch booth is now the world’s 32nd largest economy by GDP following another year of unprecedented growth,…
PONTIAC, Mich. — 55-year-old Juggalo Kevin “Klown Syndrome” Anderson is concerned young Juggalos won’t continue the positive Juggalo message created by his generation, sources close…
LOS ANGELES — The veteran YouTube series The Great British Bass Off will team up with Coast to Coast, an up-and-coming YouTube series revolving around…
OI’ve had strong opinions about politics ever since I picked up a copy of the Dead Kennedys’ “Fresh Fruit and Rotting Vegetables.” The year was…
LONDON — Local steampunk Alexi Franklin was assaulted yesterday by fellow Pincham High classmate and noted steamjock Victor Gryphon, multiple witnesses confirmed. “He kept calling…
NEW YORK — Fans seeing post-rock band We Make Noise Sounds last night weren’t entirely sure whether the group had started playing, or if the…
NEW YORK — Progressive punk Otto Williams replaced the phrase “bum a cigarette” earlier today with “homeless person a cigarette” in an attempt to be…
Jeff Sessions’ crusade against marijuana is damaging to the American economy, harmful to our healthcare system, and totally blows chunks for the band 311. Sessions,…