A couple of weeks back our office was shaken when a strange mass of blue energy suddenly appeared and exploded next to our most recently…
LEWISBURG, W.V. — The favorite shirt that you wore frequently the year you were 29-years-old magically transformed to a piece of clothing only large enough…
DENTON, Texas — Children’s literature icon Waldo was found yesterday within a local black metal band logo after nearly 30 minutes of attempting to understand…
WASHINGTON — Trapt frontman Chris Taylor Brown issued an enthusiastic “start and persist” letter yesterday urging President Donald Trump to play the band’s lone hit…
LOS ANGELES — The 1981 kidnapping of a young woman by the KKK is being reexamined by the LAPD following overwhelming public pressure, multiple detectives…
SAN FRANCISCO — The popular, celebrity-driven tutorial platform MasterClass released a series today from Misfits’ guitarist Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein, containing all of his music…
AUSTIN, Texas — Punk musician Miles Finney is forgoing a descent into heroin addiction and skipping right ahead to being a sanctimonious, advice-giving vegan yogi,…
MINNEAPOLIS — Pop-punk band Suburban Angst called an emergency band meeting on Friday to discuss a potential plan to write a second hit after their…
PITTSBURGH — Local man Samuel Burke was reportedly unsure when to name drop heavy metal band Sepultura to the tow truck operator who hauled Burke’s…
SEATTLE — Local punk Kyle Treacher has entered his third year of trying to break in a pair of Doc Martens, struggling to stave off…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Laid-off sound engineer Logan Green is constantly adjusting the volume levels of his television in order to keep busy while waiting…
WEST LAWN, Penn. — A generation-defining show at local basement venue The Bottleneck was briefly interrupted last night when venue/home owner Doug Stinson had to…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local middle-aged skateboarder Eddy Tirado impulsively flipped off the security guard standing by the front door of the Chase bank he was…
Being locked down in my apartment for the past few months has given me time to reflect on life and how I spend mine. This…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Genetic scientists have resurrected a dead punk scene using the DNA of an original guitarist preserved in amber, sources sick of hearing…