LUBBOCK, Texas — Local defense attorney Andre Laird is reportedly running out of options today, trying to convince his punk client that giving “at least…
LOS ANGELES — Local Boy Scout Matthew Bolz allegedly did not realize that the old woman he aided across the street yesterday was actually heavy…
DIY promotion and hustle will make or break you as a local artist. If your band isn’t pounding the pavement figuratively and literally, why are…
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. — A decidedly arrogant YouTube guitar tutorial incorrectly assumed that the person watching it already knew what the hell he was talking about…
As vaccines against the Covid-19 virus begin distribution one can’t help but have a sense of optimism as the future approaches. Soon people who aren’t…
LAKEWOOD, Calif. — Aging punk Lilo Omed claimed today that the best way to keep his penis erect is not by consuming over-the-counter pills, but…
Hey friendo! I know it’s a bit awk between the police and the public rn, but I have an idea. Umm, what if both sides…
So, you decided to dabble with some ketamine. I really can’t blame you. Sorry horses, Ket isn’t just for you anymore! Some of my dealers…
CROTON-ON-HUDSON, N.Y. — Robby Danter, bassist and devoted member of local band The Tennis Court Oath for the past six years and counting, is optimistic…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local man Edgar Ruiz admitted today that he would have done things much differently if he knew that the most recent time…
KINGS PARK, N.Y. — 41-year-old Pantera megafan Ray “Nickelbag” Shipley is still enrolled in 11th grade at Kings Park High School, as well as nightly…
BALTIMORE — Local thrash metal band Gynosphinx reportedly spent close to $500 to soundproof their practice space last week out of respect for their neighbors…
LONDON — Queen Elizabeth II announced today that she will knight either Liam or Noel Gallagher of famed 90s Britpop group Oasis to quell her…
Holy shit! Can anyone help me?! If so, GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! I listened to Phantogram for the first time, and now I’m…
DETROIT — Local YouTube guitar teacher Nita von Bismark quietly mumbled to her online students that she would put on a Jimi Hendrix documentary and…