BERKELEY, Calif. — Local punk Charles “Chuck” McCoy is adamant that everyone knows his hatred for hippies stems from a left-wing ideology, rather than a…
BOSTON — Local 46-year-old musician Tim Reddy of the seminal one-person noise/grind collective 5CrpseFckPrty complained that you could no longer whip out your schlong on…
JEROME, Ariz. — Jehovah’s Witness Leonard Standish and Tool fan Don Schmidt spent all night spreading the gospel of their faith and fandom, exhausted sources…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump attempted to justify his policy of mass deportations by claiming illegal immigrants are taking up the majority of all guest…
It’s 2025 and after over a decade of unchallenged mainstream hegemony, your hatred of Drake has been vindicated. Look, we all get it. After the…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk Corey Lambert awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after realizing that the devastating Los Angeles…
NEW YORK — Local crustie Joel McCaffrey was seen excitedly planning a romantic Valentine’s Day evening for his partner by leaving a trail of loose…
FORT WORTH, Texas — Local metal frontman Frank Fortibus inadvertently let out the best scream of his entire career during a call with customer service,…
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Department of the Interior recognized 34-year-old Rob Meszka of Louisville, Kentucky with the Citizen’s Award for Bravery after he took a…
Following years of penning autobiographical depictions of killing babies and stealing the toes and teeth of girls at Lovers Lane, Misfits frontman Glenn Danzig famously…
NEW YORK — Perennially vogue indie group Interpol announced plans to finally remove their sunglasses after 28 years, confirmed sources who finally just got used…
SAN FRANCISCO — Super7, the popular toy company known for its niche collectables, released a new talking Lars Ulrich doll that comes equipped with a…
LOS ANGELES — Popstar Chappell Roan woke up to discover the severed and pink-painted head of a pony in her bed yesterday, seemingly a threatening…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local retail employee Brenda Lawson found herself nostalgic for the Christmas music playlist at her workplace after hearing “Hanging By a Moment”…
STOCKTON, Calif. — Local California woman and artistic muse Vanessa Murder, better known as “Miss Murder” from the AFI song of the same name, had…