Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in New York City? I’m a thousand miles away, and honestly, I think it’s gonna stay that way. I’ve…
SEATTLE — Local musician Shelby Betancourt’s homemade N95 face mask, fashioned out of a flyer for an upcoming show, was destroyed yesterday by a passerby…
DETROIT — Citing growing health concerns, Insane Clown Posse’s Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J announced yesterday the first ever “Distancing Of The Juggalos” festival…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local crust punk Aaron Beckman compromised his health this week when his self-made coronavirus facemask inadvertently exposed him to 32 other rare…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham stole a substantial portion of his daughter’s cereal this morning to help him “stay sharp” for when…
SALT LAKE CITY — Longtime Imagine Dragons fan Katie Graham celebrated her 11th birthday this week with a dull celebration modeled after her favorite band’s…
ATLANTA — Musician, comedian, and actor Donald Glover released a vaccine he created for COVID-19 on his website donaldpresentsthecure.com at 4 a.m. this morning and…
PLAINVIEW, N.Y. — 16-year-old Misty Lebowitz carelessly endangered her much, much older and immunocompromised pop-punk singer boyfriend Scotty McDickers yesterday when she defied New York’s…
“I LOVE LIVIN’ IN THE CITY!” Hell yeah. “FEAR” said it best in their comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live back in the 80s. They…
MIAMI — Proto-punk legend Iggy Pop removed the torso section from his hazmat suit yesterday, designed to protect the aging rocker from contracting COVID-19, concerned…
Detroit resident Megan Munoz is a multimedia artist, local activist, musician, and dedicated philanthropist who is best known as “the girl who dates that dude…
STRATFORD-UPON-AVON, England — Local punk and detestable rascal of ill-repute Bartholomew Alfraye expressed a most ghastly proclamation of ill-will today upon the members of the…
CHICAGO — Local punk Allen Prestigiacomo is now unemployed from home, thanks to Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker’s decree forcing bars and dine-in restaurants to close…