CLEVELAND — Moderators for 2020’s first Presidential debate reportedly added a question regarding an issue that’s been hotly contested since the early/mid-2000s: What defines “real”…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Slightly tipsy local mom Candace Webber keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints that she fucked The Offspring singer Dexter Holland in the ‘90s,…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Those invited to celebrate the marriage of punk drummer Scotty Corless and slaughterhouse foreman Anna “Slander” Dietrich are reportedly not bothering to…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local distro owner Andy Klein assured you today that the Pelican “Australasia” record on limited edition orange vinyl you ordered from him…
ATHENS, Ga. — Punk and new health insurance policy holder Nolan Nowickski is reportedly “going a bit overboard” with the amount of stick-and-poke tattoos he’s…
Guy with Pavement Lyrics on Tinder Profile Looking for Obscure but Critically Acclaimed Relationship
CHICAGO — Local Pavement fan Nathan Matthews added Pavement lyrics to his Tinder profile yesterday, hoping to attract a woman with the same exact hyper-specific…
BEDMINSTER, N.J. — President Trump has appointed the once-popular 90s alt-rock band Spin Doctors to lead the country’s coronavirus task force, during an impromptu press…
CHICAGO — Local punk Kyla Waters has spent the past 24 hours trying to decide if her roommate’s new tattoo either looks nothing like Jack…
Journalism is all about specificity. So when it came time to analyze Nine Inch Nails’ ’90s love anthem “Closer,” we took a deep dive into…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — An artistically noisy altercation between neighbors escalated yesterday when Sonic Youth’s “Confusion Is Sex” was cranked to full volume and used…
PRINCETON, N.J. — Legendary drugstore playlist rock outfit Blues Traveler were inducted into the “Band You’re Probably Gonna Hear at Walgreens” Hall of Fame yesterday…
CHICAGO — Local anarcho-punk Noah Wallin claimed today that he is prepared to take the lives of Scottish indie-rock band Franz Ferdinand, should the opportunity…