CINCINNATI — Red Hot Chili Peppers tribute band, Los Jalapenos, vow to press on with their tri-state tour despite low attendance, scathing reviews, and looming…
WINNETKA, Ill. — New Trier High School bully from the class of 1997, Al Edwin, is amazed at what losers and lame motherfuckers can get…
MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — A new Descendents box set is exciting fans with never-before-heard songs and lost recordings including a version of “I Like Food”…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Attendees at a recent Foo Fighters concert were treated to a special surprise when the band brought fans on stage to play…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Local band Not Just a Faze got the biggest break of their career after discovering that their entire rehearsal space has a…
LONDON — Bedroom post-punk musician Rob Davidson begged listeners to use headphones while listening to his latest EP, apparently unaware that he would be fortunate…
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — Local crust punk Lou “Canker Sore” Schultz revised his bucket list to include getting a disease named after him in an…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Overly careful punk Jimmy Reynolds patiently waited 30 minutes after eating a full meal before stage diving into an active pit, sources…
APPLETON, Wis. — Teenage prodigy Shari Ford is being hailed as the next great bassist after mastering the electric bass guitar 16 minutes into her…
KINGSTON, Jamaica — Reggae singer and exonerated philanderer Shaggy released a tell-all book recently titled “If It Was Me, Here’s How It Happened,” in response…
Hey songwriters! You wanna improve your chops? You wanna write a song that connects with the audience on an emotional level while staying stuck in…
AUSTIN, Texas — A metronome at Austin’s Northside Music Academy doesn’t know what more it can do to show the idiot using it, Kyle Tulridge,…
IOWA CITY, Iowa — Promoters at a recent local show agreed that they would bump the door fee up three dollars for any individual who…
LOS ANGELES — Highly distinguished drummer and body art curator Travis Barker recently admitted that he spends a good few hours every morning painstakingly reapplying…
LONDON — Virtuoso violinist Hans Kriegsman came to the difficult realization that he plays in a glorified cover band while performing Bach’s “Jesu, Joy of…