BEND, Ore. — Local crust punk Exena Groman admitted that she is only able to relieve her bladder if multiple people are watching and it…
Indio, Calif. — Goldenvoice announced this week that Coachella will close out with a bang this year, as a revolutionary new hologram of GG Allin…
CHILLICOTHE, Ohio — Local mom Phyllis Marlon filed a private defamation lawsuit against her daughter, Lisa, after the fourteen-year-old returned home from a trip to…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local sticker hook up Archie Sutherfield said he would love to talk to you about an incredible opportunity and deal that he…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Touring band ‘The Flattered & The Curious’ regaled tenants of the apartment they are crashing in with tales from the road while…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Legendary Terror frontman Scott Vogel was caught incessantly checking his Fitbit watch while pacing back and forth in hopes of improving his…
LOS ANGELES — The latest single from the Red Hot Chili Peppers entitled “770 Miles of Sunshine” was revealed to be California’s Wikipedia page set…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local faded couple Robby Weeks and Angela Torres found and have since adopted a puppy while out doing whatever it is they…
LOS ANGELES — Notorious punk rock ghoul Matt Skiba was spotted monotonously saying the phrase “I’m a spooky boy” over and over to his own…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that his frequent tremors are due…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A bag of baby spinach sitting untouched in a local fridge is currently coming to the inevitable conclusion that it will die…
LAS VEGAS — Pop punk fan and amateur blackjack player Devin Suggs has fallen into debt after instinctively hitting on hands of 15, disgusted sources…
NILES, N.Y. — Local punk and Leftöver Crack fan Thomas Solido expressed his disdain for the lone police officer in his small town who has…
SEATTLE — Local bassist Tony Drill has no clue that his songwriting efforts will never be featured on his band Mangy Polyps new album following…
FERNDALE, Mich. — Local post-hardcore bands The Crooked Nose and Sleeping in Bushes brought a mix of high school-aged and middle-aged patrons out to the…