LOS ANGELES — Notorious punk rock ghoul Matt Skiba was spotted monotonously saying the phrase “I’m a spooky boy” over and over to his own…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that his frequent tremors are due…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A bag of baby spinach sitting untouched in a local fridge is currently coming to the inevitable conclusion that it will die…
LAS VEGAS — Pop punk fan and amateur blackjack player Devin Suggs has fallen into debt after instinctively hitting on hands of 15, disgusted sources…
NILES, N.Y. — Local punk and Leftöver Crack fan Thomas Solido expressed his disdain for the lone police officer in his small town who has…
SEATTLE — Local bassist Tony Drill has no clue that his songwriting efforts will never be featured on his band Mangy Polyps new album following…
FERNDALE, Mich. — Local post-hardcore bands The Crooked Nose and Sleeping in Bushes brought a mix of high school-aged and middle-aged patrons out to the…
TORONTO — Concert goers were left baffled last night when drummer Gareth McGibbons of mathcore band Hyde Index burst into flames during the band’s second…
MONTREAL — Members of the pop-punk Simple Plan are having an existential crisis after realizing that life never really stopped being a nightmare as they…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Local musician Bort “Borty” Giancarlo was observed introducing his long-term girlfriend and creative collaborator Anna Paloma as his bandmate, according to touring…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — A local home is angering neighbors by leaving their 311 Day decorations up long after the holiday has passed and allowing the…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Brave souls slinging drinks at the Slumbar Saturday night prepared for the rush of headbangers hurling towards them during a set by…
LOS ANGELES – Legendary actress Jodie Foster admitted that former presidential-assassin-turned-musician John Hinckley Jr.’s latest folk single is surprisingly decent, worried friends reported. “He came…
INDIANAPOLIS — Your arch-nemesis allowed you to enjoy the majority of a record by a band you did not realize is Christian and plans to…
NEWPORT, R.I. — Local hardcore kid Luke Tappe finally unveiled his 2021 Spotify wrapped after consuming countless YouTube tutorials and graduating from an eight-week Photoshop…