BERKELEY, Calif. — Legendary Terror frontman Scott Vogel was caught incessantly checking his Fitbit watch while pacing back and forth in hopes of improving his…
LOS ANGELES — The latest single from the Red Hot Chili Peppers entitled “770 Miles of Sunshine” was revealed to be California’s Wikipedia page set…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local faded couple Robby Weeks and Angela Torres found and have since adopted a puppy while out doing whatever it is they…
LOS ANGELES — Notorious punk rock ghoul Matt Skiba was spotted monotonously saying the phrase “I’m a spooky boy” over and over to his own…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that his frequent tremors are due…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A bag of baby spinach sitting untouched in a local fridge is currently coming to the inevitable conclusion that it will die…
LAS VEGAS — Pop punk fan and amateur blackjack player Devin Suggs has fallen into debt after instinctively hitting on hands of 15, disgusted sources…
NILES, N.Y. — Local punk and Leftöver Crack fan Thomas Solido expressed his disdain for the lone police officer in his small town who has…
SEATTLE — Local bassist Tony Drill has no clue that his songwriting efforts will never be featured on his band Mangy Polyps new album following…
FERNDALE, Mich. — Local post-hardcore bands The Crooked Nose and Sleeping in Bushes brought a mix of high school-aged and middle-aged patrons out to the…
TORONTO — Concert goers were left baffled last night when drummer Gareth McGibbons of mathcore band Hyde Index burst into flames during the band’s second…
MONTREAL — Members of the pop-punk Simple Plan are having an existential crisis after realizing that life never really stopped being a nightmare as they…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Local musician Bort “Borty” Giancarlo was observed introducing his long-term girlfriend and creative collaborator Anna Paloma as his bandmate, according to touring…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — A local home is angering neighbors by leaving their 311 Day decorations up long after the holiday has passed and allowing the…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Brave souls slinging drinks at the Slumbar Saturday night prepared for the rush of headbangers hurling towards them during a set by…