SALT LAKE CITY, Utah — Conservative politicians and activists in Utah declared victory today when they passed a new law that will effectively limit all…
SAN JUAN TEOTIHUACÁN, Mexico – Iron Maiden’s longtime mascot Eddie believes it’s time he had an opportunity to do more laid-back, relaxing endeavors on future…
SALEM, Ore. — Metalhead and biology lab technician Chris Mathes once again cut the fingertips off his safety gloves despite the risk of contamination and…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Tragedy struck indie rock group Band of Horses last night when guitar player Brett Nash suffered a career-ending leg injury mid-show and…
NEW YORK — Sigur Ros fans are beaming this morning upon hearing the band’s new album which perfectly captures the universal experience of being wèuupøhjc…
These days, few people are truly doing “okay.” Between unemployment, a global pandemic, and a tanking economy, it’s hard to simply feel “fine” anymore. So…
UPPER DARBY, Pa. – Vinyl enthusiast Michelle Oliver confounded contractors when she asked if vinyl flooring came in a 180-gram pink marble splatter option, the…
DALLAS — Skeptical show-goers recently expressed dissatisfaction following the realization that venue parking fees are more expensive than their ticket of admission. “I’ve been waiting…
AUSTIN, Texas — A desperate guitar pick is currently clinging to the inside body of an acoustic guitar belonging to beginner musician Vernon Nixon, nearby…
TRENTON, N,J. — Music, the auditory art form which has been a part of humanity since antiquity, issued an apology for reportedly “saving the life”…
TOLEDO, Ohio. – Local goth office worker Todd Schmidt admitted privately that he is secretly craving a slice of the delicious Funfetti birthday cake that’s…
DERA ISMAIL KHAN SUBDIVISION, Pakistan – Militant extremist group Al-Qaeda, the terrorist cell responsible for the 9/11 attacks, claimed to be the forces behind musician…
DETROIT – Metalhead Drew Fronski used his one and only phone call from the county jail to get one last unprovoked jab in at the…
VENTURA, Calif. — 30-year-old Magnus Hahn made last night’s show all about him after picking up the Faulty Mechanics singer’s knocked over mic stand in…
LOS ANGELES — A discouraged Hans Zimmer closed out the GarageBand tab on his long-delayed ska album to begin work on another stupid movie score…