BAYONNE, N.J. — Residents of local punk house The Dry Socket made the cost-cutting decision to switch to Kirkland Signature for household whippets after reevaluating…
FITCHBURG, Mass. — Local drummer Andrew Kingston is reportedly ecstatic after seeing the tremendous results that placing a tiny, stinky, old blanket inside of his…
Dear black metal fans, this may come as a shock to many of you but I am not a Satanist. Despite my appearance and everything…
ELLENSBURG, Wash. — Members of local skiffle-punk revival band Rat Boy and The Cheese Police agreed to practice a song written by the group’s drummer,…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local guitarist Sebastian Melendez purchases the most inexpensive PA at his regular music equipment store following a detailed, four-hour description of every…
LOS ANGELES — Local man and self-described “music aficionado” Alex King once again paid $15 for access to a music streaming subscription despite only listening…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Andrew Fetzer attempted to deceive friends by crudely marking his hands with a sharpie to hide that he’s been relaxing at…
BOSTON – Middle child and walking disappointment to his Nu-metal family Trevor Briggs Jr. is the only one in his family who doesn’t have the…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Local doom metal drummer and law student John Hennion used the extended gaps in between snare hits to study for the…
NEW YORK — Local Band Twice Forgotten is ecstatic in their naivety after negotiating their first record contract despite the fact the executive clearly said…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. – Local goth Sarah Lashley is rejecting modern bedding options and instead chooses to sleep in a casket resting on the floor, confirmed…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local man Rick Anderson remains ignorant to the fact that the generous beer donations he makes to his neighbors’ basement shows…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Accountant Keith Lowell has the suffix “guitar” at the end of his Instagram handle despite showing no signs nor evidence of having…
SHEBOYGAN, Wisc. — Local punk band Disquantify announced today they will embark on an extensive world tour, with the first 36 stops right here in…
LOS ANGELES – Legendary guitar manufacturer Fender announced their new Sid Vicious Signature Classic bass guitar which will feature a rosewood fretboard, vintage sculpted rear…