NEW YORK — Extreme Nordic black metal band Virus Ritual celebrated a successful run of U.S. tour dates with the ceremonial dumping of goat’s blood…
JACKSON, Mich. — A local American black bear family proudly displayed the stuffed head of the elusive Ted Nugent as a trophy above their cabin’s…
COVENTRY, R.I. — 43-year-old father of two Mike Lassiter begged his children for permission to go see his favorite pop punk band on their upcoming…
LOS ANGELES – Extraterrestrial beings confirmed today that they accidentally abducted founding member of Alkaline Trio, and now former Blink-182 guitarist, Matt Skiba instead of…
LOS ANGELES — Members of Hollywood mainstays Eager Young Space Cadet regret letting headliner Porky Pig borrow their kick drum after he inflicted some extreme,…
DALLAS — Frequent concertgoer Peter Logan once again was accused of not taking his therapy sessions seriously after responding with shouts and rounds of applause…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Legendary post-hardcore band La Dispute confused fans with the band’s new lyrical direction by literally just reading ingredients off the shampoo…
LOS ANGELES — The Game Show Network canceled the metal-and-pyro-themed “Win Rammstein’s Money” after the set burned to the ground for the fourth time this…
GRAND CAYMAN, Cayman Islands — Disgraced actor Armie Hammer reportedly walked out of a Cannibal Corpse performance moments before the death metal icons introduced their…
DALLAS – Local man Shane Whitlock recently blew the two-drink minimum at a small, laid-back music venue clear out of the fucking water, according to…
CHELSEA, Mich. — The right leg of local One Man Band “Dandy Dale’s Ragshackle Ramtime Revue” is leaving to pursue a solo kick drum career…
WASHINGTON — The Smithsonian Institute presented guitar icon Slash with the rare opportunity of performing while wearing the exact top hat Abraham Lincoln had on…
SANTA FE, N.M. — Attendees of last night’s set by scene legends Beyond Silent were surprised to notice that, for a solid few minutes, everyone…
WHEELING, W. VA — Aging punk roommate Dennis “Onion” Wilkins ritualistically bequeathed the key that allows them to steal toilet paper from Wendy’s to his…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Shipping conglomerate FedEx announced a massive hiring effort to recruit hundreds of staffers dedicated to fucking up vinyl records during the shipping…