MIAMI — Legendary punk icon and notoriously topless frontman Iggy Pop turned heads the other day after wearing a shirt in the pool at a…
NEW YORK — Seasoned review writer, and so-called ‘realist,’ Gio Moreland struggled for several days to find the stars pictured in NASA’s newest images from…
HARRISBURG, Penn. — Local human disaster Jason Melvin recently managed to pull a complete 180 in every aspect of his previously pointless existence with the…
GLENSIDE, Pa. — Pennsylvania senate candidate John Fetterman vows to support universal healthcare for scene veterans, old heads, and all the real motherfuckers in the…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — New Jersey-based punk, and massive acid enthusiast, Lionel “Tabby” Winnet is reportedly “confused but going with it” upon finding himself at bat…
PHOENIX, AZ – Local bassist Winston Crowe of punk band Sloppyfoot hit the gym to begin a new head nod training regimen which he hopes…
Want to write for The Hard Times? We accept freelance pitches all the time. What we like to see is a knowledge of the punk…
BELMAR, N.J. — The partial remains of self-proclaimed Weezer fanatic, Lance Figaro, were found washed up on the beach after it was suspected he was…
LOS ANGELES — Representatives from Neutrogena announced they finally perfected a formula strong enough to be certified as “Goth-Strength” by the FDA just in time…
OMAHA, Neb. — Members of local indie band Tetracycle are pioneering a new lo-fi sound but admit it’s not intentional and only the result of…
DENTON, Texas — All members of local noise band Conflicted Hump-Feels recently experienced an existential crisis after accidentally writing a hook during practice, sources close…
LOS ANGELES — Grindcore frontwoman and recent gynecological patient Lexi Tyler discovered her never-before-heard guttural vocal abilities during an IUD insertion procedure earlier this month,…
BOSTON — Local guitarist Lacey Buntz successfully replaced the low E string on her acoustic guitar using a thick, incredibly long, jet-black, chin hair she…
CRANSTON, R.I. – Elder millennial and lifelong pop punk fan Trent Wilshire relived his early teen years by pleasuring himself to completion with only the…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local freelance videographer, and part-time ambient music composer, Cooper Mills is intensely contemplating the potential thematic and philosophical focus of his…