BROWNSVILLE, Texas — Kevin Sigourney, lead singer of screamo band Within the Webs, stunned audience members gathered at the local Veteran’s Hall when he began berating…
LONDON – Crass frontman Steve Ignorant announced plans for a new Crass box set in an impromptu press conference to gathered members of the media…
PORTLAND, Ore. – Stink Bandits, a heavily hyped local trash core band, were outed as nothing more than three raccoons and a drum machine after their…
SARASOTA, Fla. – Office worker and self-described punk, Brian Nesom, had a sudden and overwhelming sense of dread while leaving work Friday evening. Right as…
VIRGINIA BEACH, Virg. – Wedding season is in full swing, which means one thing: The nation’s punks are struggling with their wardrobe choices. But one…
SPOKANE, Wash. – After resigning from her post as president of the Spokane, Washington chapter of the N.A.A.C.P due to a highly publicized scandal regarding…
DULUTH, Minn. – With the whole house to himself, 30-year-old Mark Carson suffered a severe facial laceration after a sing-along mishap in the kitchen of his suburban…
ORLEANS, Mass. – Ticket holder Nick Cascarella made a desperate attempt to appear to be busy on his phone upon arriving to a show hours…
LOS ANGELES — New York native and recently unfrozen caveman, from the Homo Elitus subspecies known simply as Ugg, admitted to missing the way the scene used…
GAINESVILLE, Florida – Unencumbered by any logical thought process, local show promoter Matt Kimball came up with an idea for fixing a double-booked Saturday evening…
THE COUCH — Local punk rock fan and avid Facebook user Jeremy Germ announced today that he is “maybe” attending 67 shows this weekend. Despite…
PYONGYANG, North Korea – Kim Jong-Un, leader of The Workers Party of Korea, shocked the western world when he announced himself as the new supreme lead…
SEATTLE – Corporate coffee giant Starbucks opened their newest retail location directly in the heart of a mosh pit currently happening inside the Phoenix Theater. Starbucks CEO…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. – After shaving his thinning crown for the first time, balding punk Justin Morris proudly declared that he is apparently a skinhead…
BOSTON – Self-described “hardcore kid” Jared Mahoney come to the realization that he is ready to enter the “liking hockey” phase of his life while watching recent…
