Upon entering my local Starbucks this week, I heard a catchy tune playing over the speakers. The voice sounded powerful and familiar, so I asked the barista what they were listening to and I was horrified by her response. She told me they were listening to “Xtina.” This is abhorrent, we can’t even say Christina Aguilera anymore?? This War on Christina has gone too far. It’s time we put the CHRIST back in Xtina.
When God first gave us Christina Aguilera on The Mickey Mouse Club back in 1993, she was all about tradition. Now she has become far too commercial; voicing a character in The Emoji Movie, performing at the Superbowl, and working with the likes of Lady Gaga and Cher. Cher?? That is an affront to God.
It’s like everyone is too ashamed to say Christina anymore. Even now, when I mention her prolific work on The Voice, I’m condescendingly reprimanded for not including ALL of the judges. Well, guess what? I don’t celebrate all of the judges. Hell, I refuse to even acknowledge Miley Cyrus AKA the Joseph Smith of The Voice.
Related: My Grandfather Didn’t Die in WWII for You to Say “Happy Holidays.” He Died for Nazi Germany
I am so sick and tired of people jamming their own Christinas down my throat. You think anyone gives a shit about Applegate, Ricci, or fucking Milian? They represent such a small minority, why should we bother trying to appease them? Keep it to yourself!
It’s up to all of us to keep alive the true meaning of Christina, and what that means to each of us in our own lives. Christina at her core is about peace on Earth, good tidings of joy, and goodwill toward Redman. I hope we keep that in mind this holiday season when we all curl up with a copy of My Kind of Christmas. But do NOT listen to My Only Wish (This Year) by the false prophet, Britney Spears.