A threatening text. A rumor spread on Facebook. A humiliating photo posted to Instagram. Millions of teens are suffering the harmful effects of cyberbullying and it’s time for you to take a stand, fuckface.
I know what you’re thinking: “But, I don’t know how to help! I’m too scared. Nobody cares what I have to say, anyway…”
That’s probably true: you do sound like a whiny bitch. But if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. These kids are getting their digital asses shoved into a locker! And if that wasn’t bad enough, the statistics say a lot of them are already gay or disabled.
Did you know 21% of American teens have been the victims of cyberbullying? That means one out of every five kids gets slut-shamed on Yahoo or finds a picture of their dick on Google’s homepage every single damn day.
And you? You’re just sitting there twiddling your thumbs. Well, I for one am not going to let this go on. And you better help out, or I’m going to find out where you live and dox the shit out of you.
Are you going to stand up for these kids or are you some kind of fucking pussy?!
What do I propose we do? Shut up loser. I have a simple three step plan:
1. Mandatory, government-funded anti-cyberbullying classes in every middle and high school.
2. All social media platforms must develop stricter cyberbullying prevention tactics or face significant sanctions.
3. Any kid who cyberbullies gets bullied in real life. By me. I’ll come to recess and beat your ass, punk.
As you can see, my role in this plan is primarily to fistfight thousands of teenagers. But I need your help for that pussy-ass letter writing part.
It’s time we end cyberbullying once and for all. No homo.