HEAVEN — Succumbing to public outcry after the shocking discovery of an Old Testament written by Himself, God, the Father Almighty creator of Heaven and…
WASHINGTON — Democrats in the Senate were unable to block President Trump’s replacement for departing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, resulting in the confirmation of…
CHICAGO — Local nerd Chris Patson found himself in a tight spot this morning during a political argument with his African American friend Carla Stevenson…
NEW YORK — In a press conference today, American Civil Liberties Union president Susan N. Herman announced that the organization will “reconsider and reexamine” its…
WOODLAND HILLS, Calif. — Protests outside the former Tony Hawk Pro Skater level “Warehouse” entered their third day as local skaters are livid over its…
HIGH EARTH ORBIT — The United States’ new Space Force, announced by President Trump this week, suffered a crushing defeat today at the hands of…
LOS ANGELES — Joe and Anthony Russo revealed today that, not only is it canon in the Marvel Cinematic Universe that Thanos erased ISIS with…
SEATTLE — Self-described male feminist Stephen Brassinger brought balance to a social media galaxy far far away by deciding to only harass the white male…
NEW YORK — A troubling report by researchers at the NYU Game Center has found that young RPG characters aren’t saving enough potions to last…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump revealed via a series of tweets this morning that his presidency has been following the rules of the Pokémon Nuzlocke…
NEW DONK CITY — Iconic video game star Mario Mario is under fire for his controversial defense of Italy’s actions during World War 2 in…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Larry Pullman, 37, is anticipating this afternoon’s HQ Trivia game in which he plans to type “TRUMP” in the group chat. Playing…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump surprised Americans today by replacing Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders with the talking owl who appeared in The Legend of…
WASHINGTON — President Trump has brought comic book artist Rob Liefeld, best known as the co-creator of Deadpool and Cable, in as an outside consultant to…














