MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Mario Mario, an illegal immigrant to Mushroom Kingdom from Italy, tore down a Bowser flag today after stomping on a group of…
Staring blankly into the corner of his open-air bazaar-style smithing shack, a man known only as “Smitty” to travelers and locals alike tends to his…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — SpaceX and Tesla CEO Elon Musk revealed a newly designed supercomputer capable of simulating an entire universe or running PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds…
SAN RAFAEL, Calif. — Defying all story-boarding and programming, the latest entry in Telltale Game’s Walking Dead series features a bug that noticeably alters the…
SAN FRANCISCO — Popular rideshare app Crazy Uber is reportedly taking business away from local Crazy Taxi drivers at an astounding rate, forcing many layoffs…
CHICAGO — NetherRealm Studios announced today that the next DLC character in the Mortal Kombat franchise will be Drunk Father. Sources close to the company…
HIGHLAND PARK, Ill.— Highland Park High School was rocked today by an appalling act of violence when Cards Against Humanity shoved Magic: The Gathering into…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — UF sophomore Michelle Stevens claims to have fast traveled to her dorm room after downing a bottle of “Se Tiene Especial” Tequila,…
Original article has been translated from Simlish for clarity. Immigration continues to be a dividing issue, and it can be hard to find the…
Rick and Morty is one of the most popular shows on television right now, which is surprising because I am one of the only people…
OSWEGO, N.Y. — Sonic the Hedgehog honored the Make-A-Wish request of 13-year-old DeviantArt regular Jake Applebaum, declaring his self-created character Jake the Hedgehog part of…
PHOENIX — Anger erupted among several gamers after a local arcade machine suddenly began charging unsuspecting players 25 cents to access more of the game…

Teens Caught Dry Humping in Jurassic Park Arcade Machine Invisible to Mom as Long as They Don’t Move
SEATTLE — Two sexually adventurous teenagers were reportedly trapped in the Jurassic Park arcade machine they’d been fooling around in today, fearing any movements would…













