NEW YORK — While attempting to recover a full chicken dinner sealed inside a wooden barrel at an earlier date, financial analyst Michael Kann instead…
Listen up, you pathetic little nerdy fucklits: my name is George Raymond Richard Martin, and I’ll write whenever and whatever the goddamn fuck I want.…
AMAZON RAINFOREST, Brazil — In a stunning development, researchers discovered and were able to document the recollections of what anthropologists believe to be the last…
FERNDALE, Wash. — At a recent LAN party, local PC gamer and prolific liar Chris Hartigan incorrectly suggested he could tell the difference between 60…
Following Epic Games’ announcement of tomorrow’s Infinity War themed update to their smash hit Fortnite, fifty percent of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds users have reportedly vanished from…
ITHACA, N.Y. — Sources report that Manuel Contreras, a 35-year old bachelor, was recently recognized purchasing a God of War strategy guide, despite his pathetic…
POKÉMON ISLAND — Aspiring young photographer Todd Snap won the Pulitzer prize in feature photography after luring a wild Pikachu to a surfboard earlier this…
ADAIR, Okla. — Fans at today’s 114th Kentucky Derby were reportedly confused and terrified as they watched Justify, a favorite to win, get sucked into…
LOS ANGELES — A weekly game night at the home of Carmen Criss ended in chaos as a strategy disagreement turned the cooperative board game…
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Plumber and noted loner Mario Mario has reportedly missed multiple verbal and nonverbal cues from Princess Peach, who has desperately tried to…
From Star Tours to T2 3-D: Battle Across Time, major theme park licensing deals can provide fresh new narratives for beloved properties. Six Flags’ so-called…
LOS ANGELES — Netflix executives were reportedly relieved to discover that Iron Fist had disintegrated during the finale of Marvel’s new film Avengers: Infinity War.…
KYOTO, Japan — Executives at Nintendo are reportedly counting the days until their Wii U console, an underwhelming system released six years ago, becomes old…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Several graduate students associated with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Media Lab have taken shelter in a supply closet after a Roomba…














