WASHINGTON — Notable Alzheimer’s awareness organization Sundown Movement officially endorsed former Vice President and Democratic nominee Joe Biden this morning, stating the candidate “exemplifies their ideals as someone who routinely forgets what he is doing and where he is, especially late in the day.”
“I am incredibly thankful to accept the endorsement of the uh… you know. The thing,” Biden said at a rally. “If we’re gonna win this thing… this, you know… talent show… we’re gonna need all the help we can get. We’re gonna need to… because the thing about Donald Trump is that he’s going to win. Donald Trump… I mean, we’re going to defeat Donald Trump. Back in the ‘60s, we — he and I had a swim race, you know. We swam down the lake to the island and the middle and then back. And you know what? I won that race.”
Biden then paused and after a moment, said, “I’m not Donald Trump,” to an explosion of cheers.
Feedback from the rally was incredibly positive.
“Joe speaks the same way as the folks I know, and that’s what I appreciate about him,” said Michigan resident Fergus Reid. “I like that when I listen to Joe, I don’t know if he’s telling me something about his childhood or something he read in a ‘Tom Sawyer’ story. That’s what I look for in a president: I want to vote for someone I could have a beer with, or even better, someone who can’t have a beer with me because he seems like he had a rough bender from ages 15 to 29.”
Members of the Sundown Movement were reportedly split between endorsing Joe Biden and Donald Trump, but ultimately voted in favor of Joe Biden.
“Frankly, many of our members felt that President Trump embodies Alzheimer’s better than Mr. Biden. But after a heated debate, we all sort of forgot where we were and what we were doing. Then we decided that, yes, sure — it can be Joe,” said Sundown Movement president Martin Hamilton. “A lot of people confuse us with the Sunrise Movement, and that’s just the way we like it: we believe that everyone should be a little more confused in their daily lives.”
At press time, the Sundown Movement announced again that they were endorsing Joe Biden for president.