Live shows are back, and the next year is going to be a groundbreaking time for music, for real this time! You’re vaxxed, waxed, and…
LOS ANGELES — Tobey Maguire’s highly anticipated return to the Spider-Man franchise is already confusing fans when it was announced that his character will be…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local metalcore band The Demise of Saturn asked scumbag show promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham to abandon traditional currency and begin ripping them…
SALISBURY, Md. — Jim Perdue, the reclusive and quirky chairman of Perdue Farms, hid five golden tickets to tour his slaughterhouse in random chicken breasts…
ORLEANS, Mass. — Local tattoo enthusiast Danny Lipinski’s latest tattoo depicting the cast of “Friends” engaged in a pansexual orgy is being described as “an…
MESA, Ariz. — Over-indulgent guitarist Marky Pritchard was careful to make sure none of his roommates were home before he churned out some truly masturbatory…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Local teenager Valerie Booth reluctantly made the choice to be goth after reviewing her wardrobe consisting entirely of black hand-me-down clothes…
SEAFORD, Del. — Townspeople have taken notice of a feral rat who is now on day seven grieving a transient punk who recently passed away…
ST. LOUIS — Audience members were upset at a local punk show last night when touring band Metallicunt revealed themselves to have a token girl…
DURHAM, N.C. — Local graphic designer Kendra Thayer was relieved to wake up intact after an intense night of introducing herself to three complete strangers…
DENVER — Local cryptocurrency trader, Evan Silver, pushed the limits of the definition of ‘friend’ when discussing a current relationship in which he was “put…