EUGENE, Ore. — Lesbian-owned tattoo parlor Rock Scissored Paper offers its dedicated clientele a variety of tattoo options as long as they are Celtic knots…
LOS ANGELES – Local man Salvador Gunez was alarmed and concerned following the aggressiveness with which his friend Seth Richter smashed a Cinco de Mayo…
NEW YORK CITY — Lower East Side resident Amanda Giardi is hopefully assuming that the overwhelming smell of cum surrounding her is due to those…
NEW YORK — Part-time punk and full-time teacher Jack Hannon once again made an impassioned plea to his students to move “move the fuck up”…
WASHINGTON — Democratic Party leaders issued a scathing statement earlier today in response to a leaked draft Supreme Court Decision overturning Roe v. Wade, according…
DENVER — Local woman Riley Prime was seen at a grocery store early yesterday morning carefully examining the quality of an avocado for about four…
TRENTON, N.J. — A local couple in their mid-30s did the unthinkable by finally saving enough money to buy the entire “House” series box set…
GALAPAGOS ISLANDS — The Galapagos punk scene was in shock this morning after learning of the tragic death of up and coming tortoise, Sheldon, becoming…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk and office employee Devon Smith successfully hid his tattoos at work by carrying around a huge Boston fern everywhere he goes…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local punk, Brian Gibbs, were astonished to learn that the known raging drunk considers himself to be “a functioning…
FOLSOM, Calif. — 35-year-old felon and recent inductee in the Folsom Aryan Brotherhood, Jeremiah Stetson expressed his desire to add more diverse voices to his…
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah — Conservative politicians and activists in Utah declared victory today when they passed a new law that will effectively limit all…
DURHAM, N.C — A federal judge ruled that Durham police officer Darrell Bartlett was justified in shooting his sidearm wildly in all directions because he…