BALTIMORE — Local ungrateful son Jacob Atwal ignored what became one of many concerned texts from his mother until he was done sifting through PornHub,…
LOS ANGELES — Local mother Meredith Jordan was brought to the attention of Child Protective Services for engaging in activities that don’t include her kids,…
BERLIN, Wisc. — Local friend Cassie Czerenda was not sure whether to meet Maggie Baumgarter’s news that she’s pregnant with excitement or deep sympathy after…
LAS VEGAS — Local couple Riley Flores and Sarah Murkowski are under the false impression that their constant arguing is a fun quirk of their…
CHICAGO — Local music pirate Adam Crawford attempted to get members of Space Motel to play “Free Bird” by shouting out the name of a…
EUGENE, Ore. — Lesbian-owned tattoo parlor Rock Scissored Paper offers its dedicated clientele a variety of tattoo options as long as they are Celtic knots…
LOS ANGELES – Local man Salvador Gunez was alarmed and concerned following the aggressiveness with which his friend Seth Richter smashed a Cinco de Mayo…
NEW YORK CITY — Lower East Side resident Amanda Giardi is hopefully assuming that the overwhelming smell of cum surrounding her is due to those…
NEW YORK — Part-time punk and full-time teacher Jack Hannon once again made an impassioned plea to his students to move “move the fuck up”…
WASHINGTON — Democratic Party leaders issued a scathing statement earlier today in response to a leaked draft Supreme Court Decision overturning Roe v. Wade, according…
DENVER — Local woman Riley Prime was seen at a grocery store early yesterday morning carefully examining the quality of an avocado for about four…
TRENTON, N.J. — A local couple in their mid-30s did the unthinkable by finally saving enough money to buy the entire “House” series box set…
GALAPAGOS ISLANDS — The Galapagos punk scene was in shock this morning after learning of the tragic death of up and coming tortoise, Sheldon, becoming…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk and office employee Devon Smith successfully hid his tattoos at work by carrying around a huge Boston fern everywhere he goes…