NEW YORK — A pack of annoyingly talented musical theater kids are reportedly moments away from completely ruining local neighborhood bar McCormick’s monthly karaoke night,…
ATLANTA — A group of heroic gatekeepers came together to stop the spread of a new subgenre of hardcore music that was close to gaining…
CHICAGO — Local band Wasp Honey admitted that their upcoming craft beer collaboration was motivated mainly by a desire to get their over-eager bassist Kyle…
SOMERVILLE, Mass. — Local 29-year-old Hector Pinske can no longer locate his refrigerator under a steadily growing pile of magnets, save-the-dates, and wedding invitations received…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Thirty-five-year-old punk Freddie Snyder discovered that the Devcon Duco Plastic and Model Cement he’s been huffing on and off for almost twenty…
NAPA, Calif. — Members of garage-punk band Prank Patrol almost came to blows for the fifth week in a row while arguing which “Sex and…
PARAMUS, N.J. — Residents of local punk house “The Crows Nest” recently undertook a harrowing, coming-of-age adventure as they attempted to locate their house’s fuse…
LONDON — Upper-level managers at a clandestine facility specializing in removing blood from young children and pumping it into Queen Elizabeth II to keep her…
ROME, N.Y. — Upstate New York officials unveiled the first of many signs commemorating over two-decades of keeping the region Woodstock-free at a solemn ceremony…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Amateur musician Erik Mulvaney is so depressed that he frequently sits at his synthesizer and presses keys and buttons without ever powering…
NEW YORK — Beloved labrador retriever Sergeant Slobbermouth returned home “rejuvenated and grounded” six months after parents Jill and Malcolm Chesterton informed their children that…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — 29-year-old Leslie Andrews was overcome with joy knowing she was able to half-celebrate Labor Day by only having to work 3 out…
ATLANTA – Viewers of the new Netflix show “Instant Dream Home” are complaining en masse about the show creating unrealistic expectations that contractors will ever…
LOS ANGELES – Nefarious rockstars Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Marilyn Manson, and Gene Simmons combined forces to become the world’s preeminent supervillain group, suspicious sources…
CHICAGO — Local beer connoisseur Evan Ramirez recently made the startling discovery that his new favorite craft beer transmutes directly to expensive, fancy piss, sources…