MISSOULA, Mont. — Local stoner Zannah Meyers concluded that the weed she smoked this afternoon must be “extremely shitty,” after a near-hour of puffing resulted…
ALLSTON, Mass. — Local musician Doug Robinson attempted to borrow a bassoon last night for his set with folk-punk octet Rat Solidarity, assuming one of…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local parents Joyce and Rich Gloppin have severely overestimated their 9th-grade daughter Dani’s social standing and ability to obtain illicit, cool drugs,…
We are living in a golden age of suffering. My generation has filled too long the goblet of misery and now our cup runneth over.…
MISSOULA, Mont. — Uniformed Missoula Police officers David McClusky and Gerald Schmidt arrived 15 minutes before the opening act at the unlicensed venue The Gnarhouse…
WICHITA, Kan. — Local student Adam Irving was stunned to learn that Brick Teeth frontman Kevin Gillion had awarded the audience a coveted “Best Crowd…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local show-goer Tommy Gill was informed by irate staff at Fitzie’s Pub last night that the item he used as a bidet…
LONDON, England — A giant, nearly two-meter long baby was flown over London Square today, prompting confusion and outrage among local residents. The controversial appearance…
DENVER — Local anomaly and known dirtbag David Gunther has perplexed a team of scientists with his disgust at the hypothetical prospect of a woman…
LEXINGTON, Ky. — Local tattoo artist Jory Belden has created a book of preconceived conversation topics for clients refer to and choose from during their…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Single Aries should be on the lookout for a new “special someone” in places they might otherwise not look…
LOS ANGELES — Tech billionaire Elon Musk and legendary U2 frontman Bono announced today that, after years of testing and research, their team finally has…
I am so sick of hearing people complain about this administration and their idealistic, unrealistic expectations of assassinating Donald Trump. Does anyone really believe that…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — A new documentary chronicling the creation of the Creedence Clearwater Revival song “Fortunate Son” will feature a brief appearance from the obscure,…














Concert Video Blocked by Tall YouTube Comment
LOS ANGELES — Music aficionado and noted short person Heather Allred’s YouTube-watching experience was interrupted last night when a tall, clueless comment obstructed her view…