Time flies. One minute you’re young and invincible with your whole life ahead, and the next you find yourself thinking “wow, what a banger” while…
We’ve all been in this situation: the luxurious cruise ship on which you were traveling for some well-earned relaxation time in Mallorca crashed into a…
I love this country. I bleed red, white and blue. I believe in the ideals laid out by the forefathers of this nation. I am…
As the hole in the crotch grows larger than each leg hole, my wife begs me to buy a new pair of Hanes! First of…
HELP! Please you have to do something, I’m not sure how much time I have left until I turn. As you can see, I’ve clearly…
Dearest Katie, It pains me to have to write you this since we’ve spent so much time together over the past few months, but alas,…
Call me old-fashioned, but I remember a time when being a gatekeeper meant something. Back in my day gatekeepers were the guards, the bouncers. As…
When my wife Sophia and I first announced our engagement, we were surprised when it was met with a muted response from friends and family.…
If you’re reading this, it’s too late. Wingstop forgot to put ranch in the bag. The only part of your meal that mattered. Obviously the…
Doctors these days! I’ve been having migraines now for six months and I finally went to see a doctor about them after a particularly bad…
So it finally happened. You met someone on Tinder and have been sexting them for the past week and a half. You were supposed to…
Before embracing my naturally androgynous features, I tried to wax, contour, and push-up bra my way into feminization to avoid mean remarks from children and…