Bullshit: I Broke Three Windows and Stone Cold Steve Austin Still Hasn’t Shown Up
For millions of kids who grew up in the 90’s, the sound of shattering glass could only mean one thing:…
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Kyle Sekaquaptewa
78 stories found
Friend Can’t Make It to This Mass Shooting, Will Definitely Be at the Next One
ODESSA, Texas — Local man Grant Hopkins informed his friend group today that he can’t make it to this mass…
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Opinion: I Could Fuckin’ Take That Guy
Oh boy, look who just walked in. Who does this douchebag think he is? I hate when assholes from out…
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Religious Woman Hits The Fucking Jackpot at Goodwill Vinyl Section
SALT LAKE CITY — Employees of a local Goodwill thrift store reported a loud disturbance today, as a woman discovered…
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Live-Action ‘Little Mermaid’ to Feature Hidden Live-Action Penis
LOS ANGELES — Disney Studios announced today that the upcoming live action remake of The Little Mermaid is set to…
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Four Guys Standing in a Field Somehow Not a Band
DAVENPORT, Iowa — A group of four white men found yesterday standing in an empty field outside of Davenport are,…
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Guy Who Swears He’s Playing Skyrim VR Needs to Take His Dick Out for Some Reason
BOSTON — Boston College sophomore Daniel Milner recently purchased a PlayStation VR gaming headset and what he claimed was a…
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Expensive Gaming Chair Perfectly Absorbs 20th Fart of the Night
BURBANK, Calif. — Local gamer Doug Saunders recently purchased a high-end gaming chair, equipped with advanced technical features, a dynamic…
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Punk Unaware He’s Messin’ With a Son of a Bitch
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local punk Griffin Myers was hospitalized last night after provoking mythical scene veteran Butch “The Butcher” Caldwell,…
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Punk House Enters Fourth Straight Year of Flu Season
PITTSBURGH — A local punk house is gearing up for its fourth consecutive year of flu season, now plaguing residents…
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