AKRON, Ohio — Progressive-minded, but very smelly, children across the world woke up to gifts from Crust Punk Santa who enters family homes via the…
CHICAGO — Local goth couple Caleb and Adrienne Simmons recently decided to break the news to their children that Jack Skellington is not real, sources…
So you’re unemployed for the holidays. Bummer. You might be starting to wonder how you’re going to afford Christmas gifts this year. I mean, you…
BREMERTON, Wash. — A local goth family left out the traditional offering of a full glass of hamster blood and a sacrificed lamb for folklore…
It was 1:30 am when I heard a familiar thump in the night. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and, Teddy Bear in…
The lamestream media will try to convince you that the War on Christmas is a bunch of made-up right-wing propaganda meant to stoke political division…
Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, all the world over! Though America undeniably has the best version of Baby Jesus’s birthday, it…
BOULDER, Colo. — Potheads across the country are leaving out Funyuns and Shasta for the weed delivery guy as he brings marijuana to all the…
Did you hear the news? Santa Claus is coming to town! For most, that means putting out the cookies and milk and eagerly awaiting his…
DETROIT – Local skeptic and conspiracy theorist Todd Griffin went on a multi-platform social media tirade and declared he has had enough with biased media…
I hate authority. From cops to judges to teachers to politicians, I flat out refuse to partake in bootlicking of any form. This tongue will…
Of all the questions that children and children at heart have for the jolly old elf St. Nicholas, number one has to be “as an…