I love this country. I bleed red, white and blue. I believe in the ideals laid out by the forefathers of this nation. I am…
WASHINGTON — The 2024 edition of the classic educational short film series “Schoolhouse Rock!” will contain a song dedicated to teaching children the importance of…
CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — High school math teacher Charles Negley experienced a fleeting moment of euphoria followed by utter disappointment earlier today, after reading news that…
If you’re a parent you’ve probably spent the week combing blog posts about Halloween safety. By now you know how to identify any signs of…
COLUMBIA, Mo. — University of Missouri Freshman and aspiring professional architect Henry Right made the innovative choice while re-doing his dorm room to install a…
First of all, stop being such a pussy, dude. It’s just a handgun. And a glock at that! No one ever is killed by just…
ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced today that Americans who have been surgically attached to others at the mouth and/or…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local strip club The Devil’s Crutch displayed their commitment to public health yesterday by retrofitting their sprinkler system with Purell following its…
I’m not saying I don’t take COVID-19 seriously, I do. We all need to do our part and self-isolate or the healthcare system could quickly…
ATLANTA — In an effort to slow the spread of the novel COVID-19, the Center for Disease Control recommended today that U.S. citizens dress in…
FORT COLLINS, Colo. — Health-conscious punk Stacey “Skaggs” Bellamy will no longer drive her rusted-out cargo van to purchase illicit substances, but will instead bike…
CHICAGO — The Copper Creek Bar music venue announced plans this morning to instill and enforce a strict 12-strike policy against assault, following their latest…
ATLANTA — Delta Airlines flight attendant Moses Ray dedicated yesterday’s routine flight to Chicago to “the real mother fuckers in coach” during an impassioned pre-flight…