HAZELTON, Pa. — Former President Trump took time during a campaign rally to brag about successfully completing another cognitive test after finishing the puzzles on…
ATLANTA — Georgia’s governor has signed a bill prohibiting the act of offering water to thirsty audience members queuing in long merch lines, bewildered legal…
WATERFORD TWP, Mich. — Presumed Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump’s campaign rallies are now limited to music by Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, and Norwegian solo…
Last night, I was visited by a punk rock god by the name of Johnny Ramone. Well, not exactly visited by him in person, because…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Republican hopefuls Ron DeSantis and Nikki Haley are expected to make slavery a big topic for their debate tonight ahead of…
WASHINGTON — Republican lawmakers today broke ground on a new memorial to not commemorate the insurrection riots that took place in and around the Capitol…
NEW YORK — Centrist supervillain Devin “The Devil’s Advocater” Jameston gave an impassioned monologue today revealing his plan for global domination is just ensuring the…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida Governor and Republican Presidential Candidate, Ron DeSantis, promised that, if elected, he would change the fifty stars section of the American…
Few television shows have remained relevant in our cultural lexicon for as long as Rod Serling’s “The Twilight Zone.” Employing elements of science fiction and…
WASHINGTON — Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is reportedly getting really into online porn in an effort to relieve stress related to the looming…
Five Republican presidential hopefuls with absolutely no chance of winning their party’s nomination took to the stage last night in Miami for the third Republican…
LAS VEGAS — Former Vice President Mike Pence dropped out of the 2024 presidential race Saturday after grazing a door knob previously touched by a…
WASHINGTON — Commander Biden, President Joe Biden’s two-year-old German Shepard, reportedly bit every single Republican in the House of Representatives before seizing the body’s speakership,…
WASHINGTON — An ominous pulsating dark orb with unknown powers is set to replace Kevin McCarthy as the Speaker of the House following a historic…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Local mother Doreen Ludip was shocked and outraged to discover a copy of the “Diary of Anne Frank,” which documents the Nazi…