“The Golden Bachelor” first captured the nation’s heart with a romantic tale of two widowed septuagenarians who were able to find love again later in…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — A domesticated pig found his life in jeopardy as he began to suspect his punk owner Kevin Gelinas only adopted him to…
It seems like wherever you look these days, we’re surrounded by people who’ve never known a minute of strife, let alone minor inconvenience. How nice…
There was no better fighting force than the G.I. Joes back in the 1980s. These real American heroes put their lives on the line to…
LAS VEGAS – Former football star and accused double-murderer OJ Simpson took one last instinctual swipe at a blonde nurse standing nearby just before taking…
FORT WORTH, Texas — Local masturbator James Matheson was overheard thoughtfully whispering to himself a historical poem about Alexander the Great upon reaching the last…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Members of the Florida Senate quickly passed a new bill last night that will allow teachers K-12 to publicly pistol whip students…
LOS ANGELES — Crust punk Tim “Ransom” Rollins has reportedly started acting annoyingly sanctimonious ever since he moved into an abandoned Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, friends…
Hockey, drinking and fighting are as synonymous as weed and the munchies. But don’t take our word for it, just go ask any Canadian why…
So it finally happened… Your wife left you and you’re realizing that if you keep sitting in your house alone listening to depressing music you’re…
BOSTON — The Solar Eclipse, expected to be visible later today, admitted he got super hard just thinking about how many people would be staring…
Topher Klein wants other fathers-to-be to know that just because they’re not the one giving birth doesn’t mean the birth story isn’t about them. Some…