The goal of a man is to identify his weaknesses, eliminate them, and then start crushing life right in the asshole. At least, that’s what…
Money doesn’t grow on trees and we’re all about that, uhh, hustle. Yep. All about it. All the time. Us, hustling… Sorry, our heart just…
“And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which…
LOS ANGELES — The upcoming fourth installment of the popular “Matrix” movies is expected to shatter records for dumb, pseduo-philisophical discussions in dorm rooms across…
ATLANTA — Local writer and amateur philosopher Alex Garfield is still questioning the meaning of life today after receiving an email last week that simply…
OBERLIN, Ohio — Supposed radical leftist Kristen Dermitt revealed herself to be a total poser today, wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt despite not being able…
TWYCROSS, England — Over the last week, Sea of Thieves developer Rare released a new “Ship of Theseus” DLC that has implemented so many incremental…
Hey God. It’s me. Again. I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked but I need your help. Lately, a lot of people have…
BOSTON — A college party underwent a sudden change in mood late last night after the host’s iPod Shuffle launched into a lecture by renowned…