Well, well, well. It’s been another eventful week for everyone but you. While you’ve been mindlessly scrolling on your phone and working a permanent you-sized…
You’ve survived another holiday and spent the entire week scouring the internet for deals on things you otherwise wouldn’t think to buy on a normal…
MOUNT JOY, Penn. — Slipknot’s latest music video for the song “Hive Mind” turned out to actually be a thinly veiled promotional material for the…
Being that hardcore is arguably the most argued-over genre, making this list seemed like a massive waste of time. We decided to make it anyway…
NEW YORK — Local punks using the bathroom of a supposed dive bar felt betrayed when they realized they could see themselves perfectly in the…
AUSTIN, Texas — A desperate guitar pick is currently clinging to the inside body of an acoustic guitar belonging to beginner musician Vernon Nixon, nearby…
LOS ANGELES — The latest single from the Red Hot Chili Peppers entitled “770 Miles of Sunshine” was revealed to be California’s Wikipedia page set…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local woman Irene Schwein found herself scrambling to explain the trove of sex toys unearthed by her parents during their visit to…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Technically stunning guitarist Peter Lakely tested a $6k Gibson Les Paul for hours at Guitar Gallery before ultimately only buying one…
COOKEVILLE, Tenn. — Cautious guitarist Samuel Tollins is almost ready to fart near his new Fender American Professional II Stratocaster after three months of being…
AUSTIN, Texas — Outdoor enthusiasts gathered today to celebrate the opening of a brand new multi-use outdoor space by watching a shitty-looking white guy perform…